Christianity, covenant, divorce, God, marriage, men, spiritual growth, women
Genesis 18:1 “Now the Lord God said, It is not good (sufficient, satisfactory) that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper meet (suitable, adapted, complementary) for him.”
When God created man, it was just man and God in the beginning. They were hanging out in the garden together, talking about what to name the animals together, they did everything together, just the two of them. It was for many men a dream come true, me and Jesus out on the lake fishing; in a tree stand hunting; or on the open road driving. Yet, in that place of just Adam and God, the Lord said to the man, it is not good for you to be alone. Have you ever really stopped to think about this statement? Adam was with God, no sin, no separation, unadulterated communion just him and God, yet God said, it is not good for man to be alone. Pause for a minute and let that sink in, why, if you are a man, is not good for you to be alone, even just you and God, alone, why would God say it is not good for you to be alone? I am not a man, so I am not completely sure of this answer, but one thing I do know is that men tend to go deep into their heads when they are alone. From what I have learned, the head, the thoughts, is a safe place for men to reside. So, when they are alone, they are thinking, deep or shallow, depends on the situation, but men are thinking, they are in their heads. So, why is it not good for men to be alone? (Ladies, this might be a good question to ask your husband, guy friend, or Pastor, but give them sometime to answer, this is not something we ponder everyday).
God and man were one in that garden, when God came to him and said it is not good for you to be alone, I am going to bring you a help meet, someone that compliments you, someone that will help you be the best you can be in this life. And we know how the story goes, God creates woman out of the rib of the man and brings her to Adam. Adam then says in Genesis 2:23 “this (creature) is now bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of a man”. At first Adam was surprised by what God brought to him, so much so, he was like, wow she is flesh and blood like me, but she is built different than me, in modern language, I can picture him saying, this is cool God, thanks. Now, the Bible does not record time between verses, so we are unclear how long Adam and the Woman were together, but the very next verse in Genesis 3:1 says, “now the serpent was more subtle and crafty than any living creature of the field which the Lord God had made. And he said to the Woman, can it really be that God has said, You shall not eat from every tree of the garden?” This verse gives us a clue into some of the talks Adam and the Woman had before the serpent arrived. I picture Adam giving the Woman a garden tour, talking about the animals, rivers, mountains and trees. And during their talk about the trees, Adam told the Woman what God said about not eating of this one particular tree.
The whole story is so full of imagery, one can allow their imagination to run away with them as they consider what it would have been like for Adam and the Woman before the serpent came on the scene.
With all that said, here is my thought today, God said it is not good for man to be alone, women love to be together, (stereotypically speaking) we love hanging out, holding hands, talking, walking, sharing our hearts together and honestly, God made us that way and I wonder if it is because we are the perfect compliment for our man whom God says, it is not good for him to be alone. You see, what I have learned over the years is that men like to withdrawal, they like to be alone, but God says it is not good for them to be alone. So, the enemy gets in the middle of marriages, he interferes in conversations between men and women and pain enters our lives. Men go back to being alone and women suffer in silence because they can’t make him commune with her. So, both are destroyed because they have what the other needs but the enemy has divided them. Pride comes in and the man says, I don’t need any help, and his helpmate is right there fully equipped to do her job by nature, but he would rather be alone. Satan is subtle, he is cunning, he is deceptive, but he is very good at what he does. He knows it is not good for man to be alone, so he isolates men. He knows women love to help, so he removes the one she is to help.
When a man isolates himself, he is less productive, studies have proven that single men are not nearly as successful as married men, why, because it is not good for man to be alone. Then the woman, who longs to helps, loves to be close, has to hide those feelings in order to respect his “man cave” time and she suffers in silence, then turns to being controlling, nagging and manipulative, which pushes him more into a state of wanting to be alone. No matter how to cut it, men and women, especially in marriage are not meant to be alone. Men need a help meet and women need to be help meets. We need each other, we were created to compliment each other, neither party is doing well apart, yet our pride won’t allow us to humble ourselves, confess our sins to one another and move on, so we live alone and God says this is not good.
I am not sure who you are and where you are in your relationship today with the opposite sex, but one thing I do know is that the devil hates marriage. He seeks to separate men and women all the time, whether you still live in the same house together or not, you can be separated in your hearts. Choosing to stay close, no matter what the other person does is just that your choice. You can’t make anyone else do something, but you can choose to do something that will keep you together, for covenant keeping takes courage. You have to be strong to stay in a covenant with someone, you have be bold to stay married when everything around you says it is okay to get divorced. It takes courage to realize that the battles you and your spouse are fighting were intended to strengthen your bond, not separate you. And the truth is, unless you quit, you can win, together as a couple as husband and wife. A covenant relationship is the most powerful relationship on the face of the earth, and the picture of marriage is like Christ and the church, no wonder the enemy is out to destroy it. But, if we use humility and remember what Jesus said in Matthew 5, the meek (the teachable) shall inherit the earth, we can win this war, together. It is time to take back our covenant partner and never forget that TWO ARE ALWAYS BETTER THAN ONE!