The Power of Proximity

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church, marriage, Nearness, power, Proximity, relationships

Much has been spoke about on the power of momentum, the power of speech, the law of attraction and so many other success principles, but very little is spoken about as it pertains to the power of proximity. In a culture that is more digitally connected than ever before and yet more disconnected relationally than in times past, one has to wonder, what is the problem? My theory is, most people are really busy doing nothing. We spend time, energy and money on things that have no eternal value and we neglect that which has eternal value to us, because technology has made us look connected while being very disconnected. We have sought our significance in something rather than someone, so we spend hours and hours doing nothing of significance, yet wonder why we struggle with significance.

Proximity is defined as nearness in space, time, or relationship. Proximity is the invisible success factor that becomes visible in our lives as we exercise it consistently. The first issue people have as it pertains to proximity is their nearness in time or relationship with an invisible God. We go to church, we pray and sometimes we read our bible, but nothing changes because we have not seen the value the power of proximity brings to our relationship with the Lord. Jesus said in Matthew 15:8, “‘These people honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me…” This is a great example of a proximity problem in our relationship with God. The truth is, if we drew near to God, He would draw near to us; if we would seek Him with all our hearts, we would find Him; and we would begin to harness the power of proximity which would manifest in our understanding of identity as sons and daughters of God.

Another undervalued relationship for most people is that of their spouse. The divorce rate is out of control, because people in marriage are not valuing the eternal person and covenant they have in their life. We may live in proximity to this person so the nearness in space and some would argue time issue is there, but the nearness in relationship is lacking, so we are not seeing the power of proximity manifested in our marriages. When we value marriage as an eternal covenant, which will yield rewards that have yet to be seen on earth and in generations to come, what is invisible will become visible to the other members of this covenant, mainly the children. The power of proximity will yield generational blessings if we only could recognize the eternal nature of our spouse; the eternal nature of us as a couple, for we have the power to create something the world has never seen before, just look at your children; and the eternal nature of God who uses marriage as an analogy of Christ and the Church.

The power of proximity is limitless, for the kingdom is all about relationships. In the age that just ended in the spirit, rules, righteousness and a variety of other issues were paramount indicators of spirituality, but Jesus when He came to earth and ushered in the first transition from Law to Grace said, repent for the kingdom of heaven is here. That meant, think differently, not modify or eradicate some behavior. Jesus was telling the people to think differently about people, about relationships. Look at the people Jesus touched (lepers); let touch Him (prostitutes); or that He made a part of His band of brothers (betrayer, tax collector and doubters). The power of proximity is about to go from invisible to visible as many have harnessed its power in secret and are about to share their success stories with the world. It’s never too late to recognize the power of proximity.

Connected Mission

Tags

marriage, men, relationships, women

When I was a kid there was a show I used to watch called the Wonder Twins. This brother sister duo had the power to transform themselves into the form of something and when what they were transformed into, combined with what the other was transformed into, it created exactly what they needed for the situation they were in. For example, one would say, form of water and the other would say form of freezer and they would become ice that would become their weapon against whatever it was they were fighting. It was a fun show to watch for us who were born in the 70’s, because we would pretend with our friends to be wonder twin powers and we got quite creative with what we activated.

I believe this old cartoon has application for today as it pertains to what God is doing with people in the kingdom of God. First of all, it was a male and female team. They were not in competition with each other, but they complemented each other. They both had something the other needed in order to face the situation they both found themselves in. In Genesis 1:26-28 when God created humanity, He created them male and female with two distinct and different makeups, but one mandate. They were called together to take dominion, not over other people or over each other, but over the earth, the animals and the land. They were to work together to multiply who they were, to rule and reign together and to subdue every enemy that sought to come against them. Eve was not Adam’s enemy, nor was Adam, Eve’s enemy. They were the wonder twins and together they would activate the kingdom of God on earth.

In Genesis 3 the enemy of this dynamic duo interrupted the original intent of this duo and deception led to a behavior that destroyed the original design for this power couple. Throughout the whole Old Testament we see that the mandate to take dominion over the animals, land and their enemies continued, but one other dominion was alive and well and that was the dominion Adam took over Eve. In Genesis 3:16 we see that part of the curse that was pronounced over Eve for her disobedience to the Word of God, was to live in subjection to her husband. But, Jesus! John 3:16 is the beginning of the breaking of the curse placed on Adam and Eve for their disobedience. Jesus, who was obedient even unto death, broke the curse that was pronounced on Adam and Eve and everyone after them by dying on the cross. Not only that, he restored to them the keys of the kingdom that they were originally given in Genesis 1.

The wonder twins were restored at the death of Jesus Christ on the cross. We are still distinctly different, and understanding those differences will help us to work together once again as the wonder twin powers, who are called to activate the kingdom of God on earth. John Gray in his book men are from mars, women are from venus began the process of outlining the differences between men and women, but God knows our design and distinctions so only He can really help us understand how we were created and how we work together in a complimentary, not competitive fashion. What most of us do not realize is that men were created for mission and women were created for connection. When we only focus on mission, we tend to go it alone. When we only focus on connection, we tend to go nowhere. But, if we could recognize that women want to be connected so they can be on mission with their man, men would be more effective in their mission, because their wife is created as their helpmate not their enemy.

The enemy has no new tactics, he does the same thing over and over again. He has deceived us to believe the enemy is our spouse, but actually our spouse is our greatest ally. The bible says, that when a man finds a wife, he finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord (Proverbs 18:22). Favor is grace, which is divine empowerment for success. The bible also says a woman of strength and integrity turns her husband into an honored king (Proverbs 12:4). When men and women stop competing and start complementing each other, we will realize we are the wonder twin powers that God created to activate things on the earth, that will usher in the kingdom of God. Together we engage in a connected mission.

The Kingdom and Your Culture

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bible, Christianity, culture, divorce, kingdom of God, marriage, win

Matthew 6:33 “But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you”.

Everyone has a culture they were raised in and that culture speaks to you, whether you realize it or not. Your culture taught you what to value, how to deal with conflict and what you see as normal. Take someone from another culture and put them in America for 6 months to a year. Once the honeymoon of being in America wears off, they will see how their culture conflicts with American culture, because they bring their culture with them everywhere they go and so do you. Your culture cannot be separated from who you are. I lived in Malaysia for 9 years and even though there are a lot of things about Malaysia I love and will cherish the rest of my life, it is not my culture and I could not live there for the rest of my life. They do things so differently then I do and it caused me conflict every time I parked the car or drove down the road, it was a culture war I was fighting and did not realize it until many years into it. The one thing I learned, is you cannot change anyone else’s culture, only they can change their culture inside of them and only I can change the culture inside of me.

In the natural this can be easy to see if you have lived in a cross cultural marriage; had cross cultural employees or bosses; or have lived for more than a vacations stay in another culture. But everyone of us that calls ourselves Christians is in a cultural battle as well. When we accept Jesus as our personal Lord and Savior, we agree to switch cultures. We declare in our profession of faith, that I am going to leave my culture and take on your culture, Jesus. The challenge is, we still have our culture inside of us, so for Americans, our culture says, divorce is an acceptable form of conflict resolution, but if you are a Christian, the Kingdom culture says, there are specific reasons to get divorced and “falling out of love” or “I can’t do this anymore” are not options given. So, what do you do, your marriage is in an intense battle, stalemate if you will, it seems as if nothing is going to change, and you feel like the only option is to get divorced. As an American this is an acceptable option, because our culture promotes this idea, but for an African from Africa, this is not an option. Their culture says, that divorce is never an option, it is actually a shameful thing. So, to an African, marriage can get hard, feel like they are at a stalemate in their communication or whatever, but the idea of divorce never crosses their mind, because their culture teaches this.

Therefore, when in a culture conflict what do you do? Christians run into culture conflicts all the time and many default to their culture of birth, meaning, if they are American they act like an American, if they are Chinese, they act like a Chinese, but the Bible says, when you are in a culture conflict, you choose the Kingdom culture. So, if you are an American and you are contemplating divorce, but you have no Biblical grounds for that decision, you can either be an American Christian or a Kingdom American. The difference is amazing. If you choose Kingdom culture over your culture of origin, you are choosing life, and the battle of your flesh begins. If you choose American culture, you take the easy way out and though it seems right in the short run, in the long run, it will be a decision that affects the rest of your life. It is time that Christians start putting Kingdom before their culture. We are to live the abundant life, and the way to do that is by being Kingdom first. If we can be Kingdom first people, we will see so many of our issues begin to fade away, yet, this will be a battle and unless you quit, you will win. We can do this, we have a King that is the head of this Kingdom and He has given us everything we need to win this war. Your sword is prayer; your attitude is humility; your shield is worship; and your goal is the advancing of the Kingdom of God in your marriage on earth. You did not marry the wrong person, your enemy is invisible, it is not your spouse, you got this, fight my friend and remember this is a battle over the Kingdom and your culture.

Two Are Always Better Than One

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Christianity, covenant, divorce, God, marriage, men, spiritual growth, women

Genesis 18:1 “Now the Lord God said, It is not good (sufficient, satisfactory) that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper meet (suitable, adapted, complementary) for him.”

When God created man, it was just man and God in the beginning. They were hanging out in the garden together, talking about what to name the animals together, they did everything together, just the two of them. It was for many men a dream come true, me and Jesus out on the lake fishing; in a tree stand hunting; or on the open road driving. Yet, in that place of just Adam and God, the Lord said to the man, it is not good for you to be alone. Have you ever really stopped to think about this statement? Adam was with God, no sin, no separation, unadulterated communion just him and God, yet God said, it is not good for man to be alone. Pause for a minute and let that sink in, why, if you are a man, is not good for you to be alone, even just you and God, alone, why would God say it is not good for you to be alone? I am not a man, so I am not completely sure of this answer, but one thing I do know is that men tend to go deep into their heads when they are alone. From what I have learned, the head, the thoughts, is a safe place for men to reside. So, when they are alone, they are thinking, deep or shallow, depends on the situation, but men are thinking, they are in their heads. So, why is it not good for men to be alone? (Ladies, this might be a good question to ask your husband, guy friend, or Pastor, but give them sometime to answer, this is not something we ponder everyday).

God and man were one in that garden, when God came to him and said it is not good for you to be alone, I am going to bring you a help meet, someone that compliments you, someone that will help you be the best you can be in this life. And we know how the story goes, God creates woman out of the rib of the man and brings her to Adam. Adam then says in Genesis 2:23 “this (creature) is now bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of a man”. At first Adam was surprised by what God brought to him, so much so, he was like, wow she is flesh and blood like me, but she is built different than me, in modern language, I can picture him saying, this is cool God, thanks. Now, the Bible does not record time between verses, so we are unclear how long Adam and the Woman were together, but the very next verse in Genesis 3:1 says, “now the serpent was more subtle and crafty than any living creature of the field which the Lord God had made. And he said to the Woman, can it really be that God has said, You shall not eat from every tree of the garden?” This verse gives us a clue into some of the talks Adam and the Woman had before the serpent arrived. I picture Adam giving the Woman a garden tour, talking about the animals, rivers, mountains and trees. And during their talk about the trees, Adam told the Woman what God said about not eating of this one particular tree.

The whole story is so full of imagery, one can allow their imagination to run away with them as they consider what it would have been like for Adam and the Woman before the serpent came on the scene.

With all that said, here is my thought today, God said it is not good for man to be alone, women love to be together, (stereotypically speaking) we love hanging out, holding hands, talking, walking, sharing our hearts together and honestly, God made us that way and I wonder if it is because we are the perfect compliment for our man whom God says, it is not good for him to be alone. You see, what I have learned over the years is that men like to withdrawal, they like to be alone, but God says it is not good for them to be alone. So, the enemy gets in the middle of marriages, he interferes in conversations between men and women and pain enters our lives. Men go back to being alone and women suffer in silence because they can’t make him commune with her. So, both are destroyed because they have what the other needs but the enemy has divided them. Pride comes in and the man says, I don’t need any help, and his helpmate is right there fully equipped to do her job by nature, but he would rather be alone. Satan is subtle, he is cunning, he is deceptive, but he is very good at what he does. He knows it is not good for man to be alone, so he isolates men. He knows women love to help, so he removes the one she is to help.

When a man isolates himself, he is less productive, studies have proven that single men are not nearly as successful as married men, why, because it is not good for man to be alone. Then the woman, who longs to helps, loves to be close, has to hide those feelings in order to respect his “man cave” time and she suffers in silence, then turns to being controlling, nagging and manipulative, which pushes him more into a state of wanting to be alone. No matter how to cut it, men and women, especially in marriage are not meant to be alone. Men need a help meet and women need to be help meets. We need each other, we were created to compliment each other, neither party is doing well apart, yet our pride won’t allow us to humble ourselves, confess our sins to one another and move on, so we live alone and God says this is not good.

I am not sure who you are and where you are in your relationship today with the opposite sex, but one thing I do know is that the devil hates marriage. He seeks to separate men and women all the time, whether you still live in the same house together or not, you can be separated in your hearts. Choosing to stay close, no matter what the other person does is just that your choice. You can’t make anyone else do something, but you can choose to do something that will keep you together, for covenant keeping takes courage. You have to be strong to stay in a covenant with someone, you have be bold to stay married when everything around you says it is okay to get divorced. It takes courage to realize that the battles you and your spouse are fighting were intended to strengthen your bond, not separate you. And the truth is, unless you quit, you can win, together as a couple as husband and wife. A covenant relationship is the most powerful relationship on the face of the earth, and the picture of marriage is like Christ and the church, no wonder the enemy is out to destroy it. But, if we use humility and remember what Jesus said in Matthew 5, the meek (the teachable) shall inherit the earth, we can win this war, together. It is time to take back our covenant partner and never forget that TWO ARE ALWAYS BETTER THAN ONE!