Connected Mission

Tags

marriage, men, relationships, women

When I was a kid there was a show I used to watch called the Wonder Twins. This brother sister duo had the power to transform themselves into the form of something and when what they were transformed into, combined with what the other was transformed into, it created exactly what they needed for the situation they were in. For example, one would say, form of water and the other would say form of freezer and they would become ice that would become their weapon against whatever it was they were fighting. It was a fun show to watch for us who were born in the 70’s, because we would pretend with our friends to be wonder twin powers and we got quite creative with what we activated.

I believe this old cartoon has application for today as it pertains to what God is doing with people in the kingdom of God. First of all, it was a male and female team. They were not in competition with each other, but they complemented each other. They both had something the other needed in order to face the situation they both found themselves in. In Genesis 1:26-28 when God created humanity, He created them male and female with two distinct and different makeups, but one mandate. They were called together to take dominion, not over other people or over each other, but over the earth, the animals and the land. They were to work together to multiply who they were, to rule and reign together and to subdue every enemy that sought to come against them. Eve was not Adam’s enemy, nor was Adam, Eve’s enemy. They were the wonder twins and together they would activate the kingdom of God on earth.

In Genesis 3 the enemy of this dynamic duo interrupted the original intent of this duo and deception led to a behavior that destroyed the original design for this power couple. Throughout the whole Old Testament we see that the mandate to take dominion over the animals, land and their enemies continued, but one other dominion was alive and well and that was the dominion Adam took over Eve. In Genesis 3:16 we see that part of the curse that was pronounced over Eve for her disobedience to the Word of God, was to live in subjection to her husband. But, Jesus! John 3:16 is the beginning of the breaking of the curse placed on Adam and Eve for their disobedience. Jesus, who was obedient even unto death, broke the curse that was pronounced on Adam and Eve and everyone after them by dying on the cross. Not only that, he restored to them the keys of the kingdom that they were originally given in Genesis 1.

The wonder twins were restored at the death of Jesus Christ on the cross. We are still distinctly different, and understanding those differences will help us to work together once again as the wonder twin powers, who are called to activate the kingdom of God on earth. John Gray in his book men are from mars, women are from venus began the process of outlining the differences between men and women, but God knows our design and distinctions so only He can really help us understand how we were created and how we work together in a complimentary, not competitive fashion. What most of us do not realize is that men were created for mission and women were created for connection. When we only focus on mission, we tend to go it alone. When we only focus on connection, we tend to go nowhere. But, if we could recognize that women want to be connected so they can be on mission with their man, men would be more effective in their mission, because their wife is created as their helpmate not their enemy.

The enemy has no new tactics, he does the same thing over and over again. He has deceived us to believe the enemy is our spouse, but actually our spouse is our greatest ally. The bible says, that when a man finds a wife, he finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord (Proverbs 18:22). Favor is grace, which is divine empowerment for success. The bible also says a woman of strength and integrity turns her husband into an honored king (Proverbs 12:4). When men and women stop competing and start complementing each other, we will realize we are the wonder twin powers that God created to activate things on the earth, that will usher in the kingdom of God. Together we engage in a connected mission.

Submission Not Slavery

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Christianity, Hope, maturity, men, Revelation, Submission, women

2 Peter 2:19 “They promise them liberty, when they themselves are the

      the slaves of depravity and defilement – for by whatever

      anyone is made is made inferior or worse or is overcome, to

      that he is enslaved.”

Women are constantly bombarded with the scriptures that remind them they are to submit. Submission has become such a swear word to most women, because whenever they rise up to their rightful place as a woman of God, she is reminded by someone that she is supposed to submit. Submission has been misunderstood for many years and despite all the advances in knowledge, science and the internet, we still are unclear of what submission really is. Men know women are supposed to submit, other women know women are to submit, but very few understand what submission looks like.

Submission is a choice, just like every other command in the bible, it is a choice. God does not force us to submit, any more than He forces us to give, love or honor. Submission has been misunderstood because many believe submission means someone is less than the other, but that is not submission, that is slavery. Slavery is the devaluing of humanity in a hierarchal fashion. Submission does not devalue, it actually shows how much value someone really has. For someone to submit to another person, means they know who they are and are willing to submit themselves to who someone else is. Knowing full well, they are equal in their humanity, dignity and value as people, they choose to lay down their rights, in order to let another’s rights have preeminence in their life.

People who believe they are inferior to another are slaves of the one to whom they feel inferior to. In addition, anyone who seeks to make others inferior to themselves, is acting as a slave owner and is seeking those who will be their slaves. We are not commanded to obey anyone other than God. That is why submission is not slavery. Submission is a choice; it is a Philippians 2 attitude; it is a John 13 expression; it is showing that you are created in the image of God.

If you don’t know who you are, submission will become a stumbling block, for your inferiority and insecurities will tell you they want to make you their slave. But the truth is, God is not looking for slaves, He is wanting servants that have the same character qualities of His son, Jesus. Genesis 1:26-27 says, both male and female are created in the image of God, we are not inferior, nor superior to anyone, we are co-heirs with Christ. This is why we can choose to submit without fear of being a slave to anyone.

Change in the Command Center

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Change, Christians, Grow Up, life, mature, men, Mind, Spouse, Thinking, women

Romans 12:2 “Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will know what God wants you to do, and you will know how good and pleasing and perfect his will really is.”

Everyone has something about themselves that they want to change. And if you don’t have something about yourself you want to change, there is someone in your life that has something about you that they want changed. So, no matter how you cut it, change is needed in everyone’s life. Once the change that is needed is identified, Christians will pray and ask the Lord to help them in this or that area of their lives. They will cry out for the Lord to change what they see as the problem, however, the issue may never get resolved, because the need for change is not in what you can see, but in what you think, in what you believe.

I have been overweight my whole life. Literally, I was born 9 lbs. 15 oz. and kept growing from there. I do not have one picture of me as skinny, or small or even light. So, I am not one of those people who were small in high school and then gained weight after marriage or pregnancy, I have always been overweight. I have tried every diet known to man, but failed at all of them because I would quit, before I could see results. I have prayed about this issue, I have fasted about this issue, but it was not until 5 weeks ago, that the Lord revealed to me the root of this issue. I had a self-sabotaging belief system that caused me to be and stay overweight. I never saw it before, I never knew it was a problem, so I never addressed it. But, now I see it, I have dealt with it, repented of it and am now on the fast track to a new body.

I say all that as an example, for we tend to look at the situation and try to change it, but very rarely do we see the root cause of why that problem has manifested in our lives. Marriages are on the rocks daily, not because the two people do not love each other, but because they have a faulty thought process going on somewhere in their brains and it is effecting the marriage. You see, everyone has beliefs that are known to them or unknown to them and those beliefs manifest in our lives for good or for negative results. Until we renew our minds, we will never see changes in the area we struggle with and pray for and want to change. The problem is no your weight, not your spouse, not your church, not your boss, not your kids, the problem is the way you think.

We have no control over anyone but ourselves and until we realize that the way we are thinking is causing the problems we are experiencing, we will never see a change in the issue we struggle with, because we never change the way we think. The Lord has given us a success plan to follow, but most people want to fix the symptoms rather than deal with the root of the issue which will bring about lasting change. The Lord says, renew your mind, change the way you think, and he shows us how to do it, dive deep daily into His word, listen to sermons and hear the voice of God through the preacher, read books and listen to the voice of the spirit coming through the author. Saturate yourself in the word of God whether written or spoken, but let the word of God transform the way you think.

We all have stinking thinking going on and it is manifesting in our finances, our faith, our family, our friends, and we have the power to change the way we think which we change the results we see. Your spouse is not your problem, it is the way you think about your spouse and what he or she does. If husbands would saturate themselves in the word of God and learn what it means to be a man of God, there is not a wife I know that would not gladly submit to him. And wives if you would saturate yourself in the word of God, taking every opportunity to build your husband up, not tear him down with your words, you would trust him, not interrogate him, if you immersed yourself into the world of God and discovered what it means to be a woman of God, there is not a man I know who would not love to honor you, cherish you, cuddle you. However, it takes a renewed mind.

Many people want to use self-will to change something in their life and some, who are very strong willed can see lasting changes, but there is still a fault line because they did not change the way they think. Our minds are the command center of our whole lives and if we were honest, everything we do or don’t do originates in the way we think, so it is time to make a change in the command center.

What Does It Mean To Be A Man?

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Christ, church, God, maturity, men, passion, spiritual growth, women, work

I Kings 2:1- 3 “When the time drew near for David to die, he gave a charge to Solomon his son. “I am about to go the way of all the earth,” he said. “So be strong, show yourself a man, and observe what the LORD your God requires: Walk in his ways, and keep his decrees and commands, his laws and requirements, as written in the Law of Moses, so that you may prosper in all you do and wherever you go.”

Men have so much pressure put on them to provide, protect, pamper and not be proud. The world’s idea of what a man is can be related to the title on his door, the car he drives, the way his wife looks, how his body looks, and the list goes on and on. Just look at GQ magazine and you will begin to see the pressure men are under to be what people define as a man. So, often we talk about how hard it is to be a woman and as a woman, I know it is tough, but men struggle with image issues, work pressure, responsibilities as a husband and father, so their load is no lighter than that of a woman as it pertains to trying to measure up. Many feel like they have to be a half human and half spiderman. Then they read in their bible about what God says a godly husband and man looks like and it can become too much to bear.

I am not a man, so I am only speaking based on observations, but what I have found is that men quit trying to be anything because they can’t be everything they are expected to be. We have men that turn to alcohol because they feel like they will never measure up; others turn to pornography in order to get that feeling of self-worth; while yet others turn to apathy, become emotionless, passionless and powerless. My dad has always said, the devil likes to keep us in the ditch, so if he cannot get you in the ditch of arrogance, he will throw you in the ditch of self-pity, but the last place he wants you is on the road of redemption, confidence and contentment. So, men either throw themselves into work and their family suffers or they decide to do nothing and that is exactly what they get, nothing.

I am so thankful the Lord knew what He was doing when He created men. Genesis 1 says that men were created to work the land, so it is a God-given desire that is put within men to work. Deuteronomy 8:18 says, it is He (Yahweh) that gives you the power to produce wealth; men need to work, it is healthy for them to do and in doing so they will prosper in more than just money. However, this is not all they are to do, they are to love their wives and lay their lives down for her as Christ did for the church (Ephesians 5), this is another aspect of his prosperity. Men that love Jesus, who find their worth in the Lord can both work and cherish their wife. Then we add the children into the mix, they need daddy’s time, energy and passion, they need to know daddy works hard as a provider, and loves mommy as a husband. I know the job sounds daunting, but I believe men would come fully alive if they would seek first the kingdom of God, then they would cherish their wife and produce at work in order to prosper in every way.

Staying out of the ditch is the key to prosperity. Too much work is not healthy, too much food is not healthy, too much entertainment is not healthy and men, too much of the evening news or daily newspaper is not healthy. God wants you to prosper in every area of life, so seek Him until you find Him. He longs to meet your need for significance in Him, so you can go out and be significant, not be working to find it. I know as a woman, our greatest desire is a husband that has his worth come from the Lord, because out of this intimate, personal and passionate relationship with God, you will be able to do all that God requires of you. You will come alive in ways you did not know you could. Just keep your priorities right, God (personal relationship with Him though his word and worship) – Family (wife, kids and others) – Work/Ministry (corporate or church) – Everyone else. This is God’s order of things and when we do it HIs way, we succeed in everything we put our hands to do.

Our world needs men of God who know how to find God in the secret place and order their lives according to his commandments. We will see so many challenges disappear, so many marriages revive, and so many children secure, if only men learn from The Man what does it mean to be a man!

Two Are Always Better Than One

Tags

Christianity, covenant, divorce, God, marriage, men, spiritual growth, women

Genesis 18:1 “Now the Lord God said, It is not good (sufficient, satisfactory) that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper meet (suitable, adapted, complementary) for him.”

When God created man, it was just man and God in the beginning. They were hanging out in the garden together, talking about what to name the animals together, they did everything together, just the two of them. It was for many men a dream come true, me and Jesus out on the lake fishing; in a tree stand hunting; or on the open road driving. Yet, in that place of just Adam and God, the Lord said to the man, it is not good for you to be alone. Have you ever really stopped to think about this statement? Adam was with God, no sin, no separation, unadulterated communion just him and God, yet God said, it is not good for man to be alone. Pause for a minute and let that sink in, why, if you are a man, is not good for you to be alone, even just you and God, alone, why would God say it is not good for you to be alone? I am not a man, so I am not completely sure of this answer, but one thing I do know is that men tend to go deep into their heads when they are alone. From what I have learned, the head, the thoughts, is a safe place for men to reside. So, when they are alone, they are thinking, deep or shallow, depends on the situation, but men are thinking, they are in their heads. So, why is it not good for men to be alone? (Ladies, this might be a good question to ask your husband, guy friend, or Pastor, but give them sometime to answer, this is not something we ponder everyday).

God and man were one in that garden, when God came to him and said it is not good for you to be alone, I am going to bring you a help meet, someone that compliments you, someone that will help you be the best you can be in this life. And we know how the story goes, God creates woman out of the rib of the man and brings her to Adam. Adam then says in Genesis 2:23 “this (creature) is now bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of a man”. At first Adam was surprised by what God brought to him, so much so, he was like, wow she is flesh and blood like me, but she is built different than me, in modern language, I can picture him saying, this is cool God, thanks. Now, the Bible does not record time between verses, so we are unclear how long Adam and the Woman were together, but the very next verse in Genesis 3:1 says, “now the serpent was more subtle and crafty than any living creature of the field which the Lord God had made. And he said to the Woman, can it really be that God has said, You shall not eat from every tree of the garden?” This verse gives us a clue into some of the talks Adam and the Woman had before the serpent arrived. I picture Adam giving the Woman a garden tour, talking about the animals, rivers, mountains and trees. And during their talk about the trees, Adam told the Woman what God said about not eating of this one particular tree.

The whole story is so full of imagery, one can allow their imagination to run away with them as they consider what it would have been like for Adam and the Woman before the serpent came on the scene.

With all that said, here is my thought today, God said it is not good for man to be alone, women love to be together, (stereotypically speaking) we love hanging out, holding hands, talking, walking, sharing our hearts together and honestly, God made us that way and I wonder if it is because we are the perfect compliment for our man whom God says, it is not good for him to be alone. You see, what I have learned over the years is that men like to withdrawal, they like to be alone, but God says it is not good for them to be alone. So, the enemy gets in the middle of marriages, he interferes in conversations between men and women and pain enters our lives. Men go back to being alone and women suffer in silence because they can’t make him commune with her. So, both are destroyed because they have what the other needs but the enemy has divided them. Pride comes in and the man says, I don’t need any help, and his helpmate is right there fully equipped to do her job by nature, but he would rather be alone. Satan is subtle, he is cunning, he is deceptive, but he is very good at what he does. He knows it is not good for man to be alone, so he isolates men. He knows women love to help, so he removes the one she is to help.

When a man isolates himself, he is less productive, studies have proven that single men are not nearly as successful as married men, why, because it is not good for man to be alone. Then the woman, who longs to helps, loves to be close, has to hide those feelings in order to respect his “man cave” time and she suffers in silence, then turns to being controlling, nagging and manipulative, which pushes him more into a state of wanting to be alone. No matter how to cut it, men and women, especially in marriage are not meant to be alone. Men need a help meet and women need to be help meets. We need each other, we were created to compliment each other, neither party is doing well apart, yet our pride won’t allow us to humble ourselves, confess our sins to one another and move on, so we live alone and God says this is not good.

I am not sure who you are and where you are in your relationship today with the opposite sex, but one thing I do know is that the devil hates marriage. He seeks to separate men and women all the time, whether you still live in the same house together or not, you can be separated in your hearts. Choosing to stay close, no matter what the other person does is just that your choice. You can’t make anyone else do something, but you can choose to do something that will keep you together, for covenant keeping takes courage. You have to be strong to stay in a covenant with someone, you have be bold to stay married when everything around you says it is okay to get divorced. It takes courage to realize that the battles you and your spouse are fighting were intended to strengthen your bond, not separate you. And the truth is, unless you quit, you can win, together as a couple as husband and wife. A covenant relationship is the most powerful relationship on the face of the earth, and the picture of marriage is like Christ and the church, no wonder the enemy is out to destroy it. But, if we use humility and remember what Jesus said in Matthew 5, the meek (the teachable) shall inherit the earth, we can win this war, together. It is time to take back our covenant partner and never forget that TWO ARE ALWAYS BETTER THAN ONE!